This week, I have spoken to many business owners about the chasm we all have to cross when we are naturally independent. I thought I would ponder this with you this week.
Most business owners share this characteristic, after all, the world of employment doesn’t always serve this need. It is no surprise that we all desire independence and have to step into our own businesses to feel that sense of control and choice.
Being independent can create some challenges though, I call this the ‘Lone Wolf Syndrome’, as this condition is characterised by a set of associated symptoms that don’t necessarily serve us positively.
I would hasten to suggest that the past 20 years has created a lot of Lone Wolves.
The deep belief that ‘success or failure is all down to me’, can create a very isolated existence, and in a world that enables us to work alone and with only our laptops or desktops as business company this can be very unhealthy, for our business and for us personally. We have to remember that creating content and broadcasting our message, is not an emotional way to connect, it satisfies many needs, but not our emotional ones. It is only when I engage deeply with someone that my ‘lone wolf mentality’ starts to break down. Equally, going to a Networking meeting just means we are hunting in a pack, most networks have a culture of ‘what is in it for me’, so there may be a ‘pack animal’ mentality in these places that can actually leave you feeling more alone, it is one of hunting for meat, not for friendship.
The other challenge created by a lone wolf mentality is anxiety and often burn out, another set of pains I am familiar with from my past!
I get this mindset; I was brought up to be very independent. Needing help was a pointless desire and learning to think for myself, find my own solutions and become used to the feeling of being alone, has served me in some ways, I guess I am pretty low maintenance. However, I have had to learn that others know something that I don’t know, I have had to learn to ask for help, and invest time in building close business connections.
Being in a Super Pack, where we support one another is a great accelerator for business, it also provides depth and personally supports one another. Many learn how much their desire to help others is matched by other’s desire too. Contributing to a fellow business owner is a two-way street, we cannot be a great ‘giver’, without being a fabulous ‘receiver’.
Often people that apply to join our community (BIP100) say “I just want to join to help others’. While this is so noble, we cannot create a community of 100 Givers, as 100 givers, would have no one to help! The power of 100 people who seek to give and seek to receive is where growth really happens.
We have discovered, by running our business communities that deep conversations and sharing one another’s deepest challenges, has created trust, and when have trust as part of our personal assets, we can find so many opportunities for work and for fun.
So, this week, I want to ask you to ponder
1. How you are building long term trust with new people that you could do business with?
2. Are you a Lone Wolf, who occasionally hunts in a pack,
3. or are you emotionally driven to have friendships in business.
I have used an image of a Lone Wolf shouting out, as a metaphor for the Lone Business Owner, without a group around us, who is really listening to us?
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