Hello, I hope you are feeling good this week and that my Ponderings give you a moment to ponder and encourage you to see all the ways you should be appreciating yourself. I imagine you are the greatest asset in your business, you are your own boss and perhaps not always being the kindest boss to yourself.
This week, join me and ponder “self-appreciation”. A powerful skill to hone and one that can take us out of the modern-day stresses of comparison and of constantly seeking more.
Don’t get me wrong, having a growth mindset and always seeking to develop is a great attribute, however, it can be joined by the other emotion of “I am not enough”, or “I could have done better”. When we measure ourselves against others, we must be so careful of the benchmarks we are setting ourselves, and we all know the triggers of social media and conversations with smug people, they never make us feel great.
This week, I had a moment of deep appreciation for who I am, a rare moment in my life. I reflected on the childhood I had, the education I had, the way my brain works, the challenges I have overcome and the fact that despite many obstacles in life, from self-worth issues, to a terrible academic start, the way school made me feel stupid and the bumps in the road of business I am still a positive, happy person, leading the right life for me and my skills.
Thomas and I had a chat; we talked about all the singers and actors in the world that want to win Global Awards, but how many of them reach those heights? How many of them had a Number One, appeared on Top of the Pops, felt they had ‘made it’ and still find themselves gigging in pubs? Can they be content with where they are, proud of what they achieved, still loving their sense of purpose and the continuance of applying their gift, or are they still desiring that Number One, and not recognising the achievements of their life and understanding that whether a huge success or a small success, they are truly living their life driven by what they love to do and were born to do.
I wrote a list of the emotional tools I have used to remain happy and thought I would share them here.
1. I know that I cannot delegate my happiness, it must come from within me, and it is an attitude, it is not attached to anything or anyone.
2. I learned very early to apply myself to caring for people and living our life externally, focused on others, not on our own needs. Being of service to others brings me huge joy.
3. I have never believed in ‘fake it till you make it’, what you get is what you see. The pressure of pretending would have burned me to the ground.
4. I have always adapted to whatever first appears as a major roadblock, whether it is changing jobs due to sexual harassment as a young woman, economic disasters, COVID, digital disruption, becoming a working mum; being close to the real needs of others no matter what the climate is, has been my survival and understanding technology and business models have been my tools.
5. I have never compromised my values, never chosen to take an easy route in business, never become the person someone else wants me to be. If I don’t fit, if my value is not seen, I will find those that will value me.
6. At school, I was clearly ADHD and dyslexic, reciting a 3-line poem would make me ill. Learning scripts was impossible for me, so I became a keynote speaker and spoke only from stories and from the heart.
7. I constantly check in on myself, am I being driven by fear or by love, by scarcity or abundance. The words ‘are you safe?’, can bring me to tears, I have had to learn to listen, speak, and act from my heart as my brain likes fear, and my heart likes love.
8. I believe that ‘nothing is in our way’, there is no way that my teachers would have seen me being Awarded an OBE, or that I could have been Voted Number 2 in the UK for Most Authentic Speaker this month.
So, when I talk to the inner child, still hurting inside, I tell her, ‘You have done good girl, and your journey of joy and impact is only just starting’. It has taken me a long time to appreciate myself, and through this pondering, whilst, I have shared and been your guide, I would love you to write 8 things that make you appreciate who you are.
Finally, thank you Tj Power, who asked us all during his DOSE Mental Wellbeing Session for BIP100 Members last week “can you do a post of gratitude about yourself”. What a great ponder you gave me darling son, and I have passed it on.
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