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Last night (13th December) I was invited to be the speaker the Carol Concert hosted by Honeypot Children’s Charity, who , with the support of trustees, donations and the amazing work of their staff and volunteers, provide respite and love to 5-12 year old carers.
I thought I would share my talk, relevant to all of us as we approach the Christmas period.
I hope you can enjoy it too and reminds us all the real message of Christmas…to give and have….
Rest, respite and LOVE
Giving a speech at such an auspicious event, in front of the most amazing people is my highlight of 2018.
Thank you Kate Browning for putting your trust in me.
Honeypot- the official Charity of the Year from Number 10, what an incredible achievement in a sector that is competing for attention among many thousands of well-deserved charities.
I was reflecting on the mission Honeypot state on their website, “to provide outreach support and respite”- to enable rest and provide love and I thought I would focus on this topic in my talk tonight.
This year I discovered I was a bit broken, business challenges, life challenges had taken its toll and almost exactly a year to the day, I had to retreat, rest and seek support for the first time in my life.
When Kate asked me to speak tonight following her seeing me talk about this experience at a Business Event, I said “are you sure, my talks are usually to business people”, and Kate replied, “I am sure”.
The confidence you gain in life when someone says “you are the right person for me” or “you are the right person for this job”, is incredible. They are validating you.
I am a fan of Maslow. The 20th century Psychologist who is famous for his pyramid of the 5 basic human motivations. His 3rd layer, that follows our physical needs and our need to feel safe “is our need to feel we belong”.
This could be about belonging to a great company, it could mean belonging to an amazing Charity like Honey pot, it might be an amazing Business Network you love to attend.
But closer to home, it is about belonging to something that really celebrates who you are, your family and friends.
So, what does belonging mean? How do you create a sense of belonging in a family, a workplace, in a community, in a Church?
It is about love. I know that the greatest energy in life we can receive and give is love.
Business needs love, family needs love, customers need love,a congregation needs love. The children of Honeypot NEED LOVE
Love is the glue in society, it is what creates trust, strength and builds bridges, it builds confidence in others.
It is the energy that can take away pain, it is the energy that provides the greatest energy when received because it creates more love. Love has no end.
It is almost about creating the habit of love in our life.
Giving love every day in every way. Today, I have travelled here with a great friend Lis Cashin. She has just completed 12 days of kindness on social media. #12daysofkindness. To use the social tags!
She encouraged business, education, charities, individuals, children, teachers, to be kind. Kindness is an output of love.
There is no doubting that today’s society is hurting. Mental health on the increase in adults and teenagers. The massive growth in mindfulness, yoga, anything to help us rest our tired minds. To recoup, to rest to have the energy to love others, and to love ourselves.
Technology has robbed us all of rest, the addictions to social media that raises our dopamine levels, our reward centre of the brain- for that moment we we get rewarded by a LIKE, a Comment, something that validates that we matter.
We have to ask ourselves – “Why is it that children now reach into these social places for validation and belonging?”
What is it that makes us all reach through metal objects, our laptops and phones to get this validation that we matter/
Is it that we have lost the sense of belonging at work even at home?
So, we are now heading into the most valuable time of year to show love and kindness. To receive love and kindness. Perhaps we should park our phones some of the time and love the people right in front of us
I tell my children that my secret recipe in the food that I cook is LOVE, I seek out ways to love others in supermarkets. Perhaps some of us have to take extra time for family members that we may have to tolerate, but they do need our love
It is about setting the intention to feel a different energy at Christmas, this is not a time for competition, strife and anger and me me me It is a time to notice others and heal their pains of the year, to prepare them for next years, fill them with energy, fill them with hope and fill them with love.
These words regularly sung in my church in Farnham, and my favourite hymn say it all
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there is hatred let me bring your love
Where there is injury, your pardon Lord
And where there’s doubt, true faith in you
Where there’s despair in life let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there’s sadness ever joy
– grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul
In giving to all men let we receive
– grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there’s despair in life let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there’s sadness ever joy
These are beautiful lyrics, just a shame I can’t sing!
Christmas is a time to give, not to take. To rest enough so we can give love.
The most appropriate words from the Hymn I just recited are “In giving to all men let we receive”
Being here today provides us with the option of the Full Stop on strife, the full stop on financial survival, on focusing on our own needs. It is the start of the most beautiful time of year to show others that we care and that we do love them
I want to finish by wishing all the children, the staff and the trustees of Honeypot the most wonderful loving Christmas and a very Happy and loving Christmas to everyone,
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