How well can you attend to the people right in front you?
Is there a danger that we are becoming too self focused?
Does that increase our mental health challenges?
Do we all know how to nurture the brain chemical that makes us have confidence, Oxytocin?
My Ponderings this week has me reflecting on a vital, yet often overlooked aspect of our interactions and personal fulfilment: the power of attention.
I remember an amazing member of Ecademy, Ronald Wopereis, saying to Thomas and I, Ronald Wopereis, in November 2004, “Attention is the Product”.
These words had a big impact on us. At the time we were leading a community of over 500,000 business owners, social networking was growing yet we could see social media on the horizon. We could see that people were in danger of becoming lone wolves, that conversation was being lost to broadcast. Dark moments in our hearts, the world was changing in terms of connectedness and attention…
In today’s digitally based lives, maintaining focus is becoming increasingly challenging. From struggling to watch a TV show without checking our phones to finding it hard to finish a book, many of us experience this scatter of focus daily.
Now more than ever, when it comes to personal interactions, the ability to give undivided attention is crucial.
I’ve noticed in my own life that despite difficulties in maintaining focus in other areas, however, happily, I have never struggled to attend to people when we’re together. Each person I meet matters deeply, and in the moments of our conversations, nothing else takes precedence. I work hard on this, my brain has become faster, easily distracted, just like yours.
I also notice that lonely people ask few questions, they are so desperate to speak and be heard.
Being interested in other people is becoming a huge emotional and commercial advantage in a world of broadcast. What was once an easy human skill, has become a challenging one for many.
Is this about personal survival, or just a lost art? I believe we need to keep nurturing this human skill. Showing that people matter is an important human skill, but without doubt it is waning in society at large.
We all observe rising social anxiety among children and teenagers.
Many adults are inadvertently sliding into introversion, losing the art of conversation without even realising it.
Being able to have deep conversations that have meaning to each person grows our own experience of the world and our place within it.
Why is attention so powerful?
It’s simple: when we truly focus on someone, we’re not just hearing them; we’re listening, understanding, and engaging. This exchange enriches our relationships and deepens our understanding of them and the world. This week, I encourage you to ponder the role of attention in your life:
How often do you find yourself fully engaged with the person in front of you?
How often are you creating opportunities to have deep, meaningful conversations with people?
This is not about blaming society, and being a victim of the world around us. Each of us can create the world around us that feels good and loving. It starts with you.
From the moment you have a chance to talk to someone, every interaction, we can show the person in front of us, whether in the supermarket, train, on Zoom, Teams, or Google Meet, or in-person, that you are interested in them, that they matter, that you ‘see them’.
Challenge yourself, get out to small intimate events and begin to work this human emotional muscle, train it daily, we all crave one another, enjoy this opportunity, it is right in front of us all. People will love getting to know you.
As always, I’m eager to hear your thoughts and experiences with maintaining attention in our digital age. Please share your stories, and let’s explore how we can support each other in this essential skill.
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Let’s make 2025 a year where our digital advancements celebrate and amplify our human essence. Thank you for being part of this journey, and for allowing me the privilege to share in your lives.
