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Pace…. How we learn to manage our life, our way

I want to share a huge learning for me that was highlighted to me when I was forced to pause last year. It is all about pace.

As in my book, I am a torch- bearer on the subject of being in business and how to manage our emotional and mental health. I shine a light on this subject and if I trigger any thoughts, I ask you to spend time thinking about the things I share and seek support.

This post is about how “Pace is Personal”. Learning this is essential to our wellbeing. We all have different stamina, drive, skills, dreams. We all have a different definition of success, ambition and happiness. So, we have to find our own way.

Do any of these words resonate with you? These were key words when I was talking to a potential member of my new Mastermind Group recently.

“I am impatient, independent”, “I want to do it all right now”, “I feel I am in a rush”.

Combine that with the vision you hold, your need to earn, the need to be on top of everything. Your need to appear in control.

We live in a highly connected world,” more connected to less people” are words I use in my book. We compare ourselves with the work and skills of others and we cannot fail to compare where we are and what we are doing and often we despair. We can get knocked sideways by their creativity and ideas, loose focus and find we have added even more to our list of thing to do.

If this sounds like you – why are you doing it? Do you understand yourself enough and what is right for you personally?

That moment when you feel out of control. The list you are creating is growing, constantly you see new opportunities to market yourself better, calls to make, emails to reply to, new services and sales funnels you should create, commitments to people that make you struggle with what to prioritise.

You start using Apps that help you manage all this. You implement processes and disciplines. You feel you have all the right tools around you to maintain your sanity. However, the one thing you might not have sorted is your mind.

Like most entrepreneurs and business leaders I have contact with, we have a number of strengths in common, hard-working, kind, resilient, technically skilled and very driven.  We are independent, and we struggle to define our ambition, it is an inner energy, as Luke Johnson says “ambition is a curse”, we drive ourselves hard.

I had a belief in life that everyday needed to be efficient, full of tasks, have empty inbox so that I didn’t disrespect the requests of others, ensure I was engaging online, keep up with all the technology, saying YES to all speaking opportunities, building a scalable business, manage my cash flow on a daily basis. Plus, ensure that all my personal life and loves were nurtured and supported. I was aware of my vulnerabilities, my inner dialogue was of pain, but my outer image was shiny.

In effect, every day, I woke early, jumped out of bed, showered, metaphorically got into the fastest car, with my foot down on my accelerator, went as fast as I could and expected every hill to be steep and harsh. I never complained, never gave in and never gave up. Until……

…..one day I was diagnosed with a type of depression that is very hidden, even from yourself. Called the ‘Curse of the Strong’ by a psychiatrist called Dr Tim Cantopher, from The Priory. This type of depression is far more common than we would imagine, it is the domain of ambitious, strong, positive, business leaders. Self-care does not feature in these types of people. They are infallible, nothing affects them, they take on huge amounts and they never consider the impact on their health and their souls.

Since I learned more about myself, and I made a commitment to honour who I am, my vulneraries, my beliefs, my strengths and my overdone strengths, I have had to learn new habits. I had to take control of the life and business I wanted and made me happy.

This is not easy. The first step is to catch yourself when you are feeling that rush of adrenalin that is not healthy, that stress chemical that is not good stress. I say to myself “take control Penny and remember the life and business I want”.

It is absolutely impossible to achieve everything all at the same time. The only way we can keep calm, sane and enjoy the life we have chosen, is to honour our whole self and to understand who we are and where our character, skills, desires and version of happiness fits into this world of business.

The strap line of my book is “be the leader of your life and business’, for me, pace is a huge part of that.